Posts Tagged ‘frustration’

I’ve been frustrated lately. I feel like I’ve accomplished little so far this year. I did finally finish my March page in my calendar journal at least (two days ago!). And I got my Mom’s necklace done.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up my arts and crafts. But I know I would be miserable. So I will just have to keep going, little by little.

Here is my March page…I think it turned out really pretty.

march calendar page

march calendar page

march calendar page

march calendar page

march calendar page

march calendar page

I have an idea for a digital art project, and I’ve been slowly going through my collection of vintage photographs of women, looking for suitable photos to use. This will definitely be a long-term project; I don’t expect to be done until next year!

I’ve also been gathering supplies to make some Christmas ornaments that I am planning to submit to Somerset Studio. I’ve been wanting to make something for the Christmas issue for a couple years now, and I’ve decided to actually do it this time. Unfortunately our printer is broken, and I can’t do much more until we get a new one. Which hopefully will be reasonably soon.

Thanks for stopping by!


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new mags
I bought the new issues of Somerset Studio (March/April)…

somerset studio

…and Somerset Digital Studio (Spring).

digital studio

Both beautiful, as always.

I see my submission for the “simple pleasures” theme for Somerset Studio did not make it in…Not to worry. I’ve got plenty more stuff to submit!

Lately though I realize I need to step up my artwork. I notice I keep doing the same sort of thing – pretty background, vintage photo of woman, some words. Nothing wrong with that of course, but if I want to get anywhere I need to push it more. I feel like I’m not being so creative. One thing that makes it difficult for me is a lack of time for simply playing and experimenting. I have so little time to create that it’s hard for me to use that time to try new techniques – I feel like I need to make a full, complete project rather than just messing around.

I’d like to play with paint more. I’d like to experiment with different techniques to make pretty background papers. I need to schedule a play date!

It’s funny how, when I have a new magazine, as I’m paging through it, I either feel so inspired and in awe of all the cool things these women (and a few men!) have created, and I think, I can do this!

Or I feel completely uncreative, dejected, and depressed. Which is how I felt this time looking through my new Somerset Studio. Not because it’s a bad issue – on the contrary, it’s wonderful as usual. Just my own insecurity and frustration popping up.

Frustration = trying to change things you can’t do anything about. Like having a limited amount of time to pursue one’s passion. Or dealing with a 4-year old and her many clothing issues, which have even caused me to be late to work on occasion recently.

But I digress.

come on get happy
I bought some new music, which always makes me happy. I got a Judy Garland album – That Old Feeling: Ballads from the Judy Garland Show. This would be the influence of listening to the Singers & Swing music channel on tv – you know, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Julie London, Doris Day, etc. I really like listening to this music, and it’s music that I can play with my daughter around.

I’ve listened to it a couple times and I really like it so far.

I also recently bought all my favorite Elton John songs – the classics, of course – Rocket Man, Daniel, Levon, Someone Saved My Life, etc. I love love love these songs so much – I could just have them on repeat all day. They make me feel so happy!


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So I still haven’t made the organza bags for my encouragement cards. I’ve been super-frustrated (to use one of Lily’s favorite adjectives. Is that an adjective? whatever.) lately with my time and how it is spent. I seem to spend my days working, doing chores around the house, and taking care of Lily. It seems like the older she gets, the less free time I have. Not sure why – seems like it should be the other way around.

And I still haven’t finished my Polyshrink jewelry that I want to submit to Belle Armoire Jewelry. I am embarrassed to say how long ago I started it! I have a bad habit of starting one project, then I switch to another, then I need to make something to submit, then I go back to the second project, etc…. I end up feeling like I am accomplishing nothing.

I’m not sure I can change much in the way of how I need to spend my time. Maybe it’s just a season in my life that will pass (as soon as possible I hope!). It just gets to be so incredibly frustrating because new ideas are always coming to me. But I have no time to do them. And I have no time to play either.

I try to be patient.

I started on working on a necklace that a co-worker asked me to restring for her (see what I mean about switching projects?). I’ve had the necklace for at least a month and a half, so I felt like I needed to get going on it. It’s really lovely – my kind of colors – black and silver. I’m enjoying working on it. There’s a bracelet too that needs to be restrung.

I recently read a couple issues of Bead and Button from earlier this year, and as I read them I really missed my beadwork. I do love my beads – and it’s been so long since I’ve done a real beadwork project. I marked an article or two, very simple projects that I know won’t take long. Perhaps I will get to them in about ten years!


ps. I was coloring with Lily earlier, in her Strawberry Shortcake coloring book. Well, I was coloring, and she was drawing in her notebook. I figured if I can’t be creative with my own projects, at least I can color and vent some of my creative frustrations that way. But of course that didn’t last long. There I was, coloring Strawberry Shortcake’s hair a lovely pink, all nice and neat and in the lines, and here comes Lily, scribbling all over it with orange! I can’t even color the way I want, for crying out loud.

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bright red feeling
The year is more than half over, and what have I accomplished? Pretty much nothing. I feel stuck in a world that consists of being a “mom” – going to work, taking care of Lily, doing housework. I feel dull.

I started off this year feeling so bright, so optimistic – well that wore off months ago. I feel like I’m not doing what I should be doing, just drifting, with no purpose. I feel frustrated a lot. I feel strangely unmotivated lately in my arts & crafts. I’m just tired of everything in general I think; a change is needed, but I’m still not sure exactly what to change.

strawberry blonde
Well over a year ago I mentioned that I wanted to write about the girls & women who have been a part of my life, whether fictional females or factual. I’ve always been drawn to women in one way or another, whether through books, music, history, movies, or literature. So here we go. I decided to write about a young woman who dates back to my childhood, with whom I spent many many wonderful hours….that enduring girl detective, Nancy Drew.

oh, How many summers did I spend entwined in the adventures of Nancy and her friends George and Bess? How many times did I read and reread those books? How many times did I long for similar adventures of my own?

How I wish I still had my beloved Nancy Drew books. I would give anything to get those back. I even had one book that was from the 1930’s!

Nancy was athletic, intelligent, adventurous, brave, bold, compassionate, and determined. And beautiful, of course. Books were my refuge, and Nancy was someone that I looked up to and felt that by reading her books, I took part in her adventures. Driving around in her convertible, traveling the world, and solving mysteries – all with her two best friends. What’s not to love?

I’ve always enjoyed mysteries too – they appeal to my analytical side. And I also loved the slightly old-fashionedness of the books – they were quaint and charming. At one point I did buy a couple of the “modern” books, but I never liked them as much. I guess even back then I was drawn to old stuff!

I found this great website about all things Nancy Drew – I really want to get a Nancy Drew tshirt!

~dreaming about hidden staircases and old clocks~

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the way she paints the world, i want that in my life. – t.a.

So I recently bought several back issues of Beadwork magazine. I used to have a subscription, but let it lapse due to laziness and lack of money. Then I got notice of their back-issue sale and took advantage of it.

As I was paging through my “new” magazines, I felt that all-too-familiar feeling of love & hate.

Love – I adore my magazines for the beautiful projects, the inspiration, the new techniques, and the chance to see what other artists are making. I love checking out the websites and blogs of the various contributors. And I even love the advertisements – there are so many gorgeous, innovative, and way-cool products. I am thankful to have these resources at my fingertips.

Hate – These wonderful magazines serve as a constant reminder that I am nowhere in my art. No published articles, no book, practically no sales, no one reads my blog (except my faithful sister-in-law and a few other select relatives). I am jealous jealous jealous!

Especially with the beading magazines. I’ve been beading forever. I should be more accomplished by now. I feel so frustrated sometimes – I just don’t know what my problem is.

ok – enough complaining.

I’ve been working on an additional project for my mom’s birthday. I don’t want to say what it is, because it’s something I’ve never made before, and I know my mom reads my blog, so I don’t want to give it away. But I can say that I’ve made one mistake after another with it. Luckily they are mistakes that I can cover, and I have to say I’m very pleased with it so far, mistakes and all.

Happy new year to everyone (it being Rosh Hashanah)!

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